9 Things To Do For Yourself This Year
9 Things To Do For Yourself This Year
So we are over half way through the first month of the year and how many of you can say that you have stuck to your new years resolution?
If you have, go you!! If not, you may be familiar with my old routine.
In the past I would have been filled with enthusiasm and determination with a huge list of goals for the year.
For about 3 days…
After that my excitement would wane and I would be back to late night Mc Donald’s drives, being unproductive, and generally forgetting my amazing plans for the year.
New years resolutions are definitely made to be broken. However instead of creating a huge list of expectations that I am bound to let myself down on, last year I decided to do something different…
I decided to write a list of things to focus on that did not have anything to do with any of my old goals, rather they were inward things to do for myself. Things that focused on how I felt about things, how I interacted with people and how I saw myself.
Over the course of the previous year I would look back on my list and find that I was actually doing so so well at keeping every point I had written. It was like I was accomplishing everything without even having to try that hard, just intending it was powerfully guiding me along the right path.
I also found that I was WAY more happier in myself and the physical goals came a lot easier too, for example by loving and appreciating my body exactly as it is, I found it so much easier to lose weight as I was showing my body love and emotional eating a lot less.
The following 9 things are a few of the best things off my new years list. A lot of these are personal things that you can do within yourself, and in doing these you can create a powerful personal transformation that will put you in the right place to achieve the tangible goals you want as well.
May it encourage you to be easier on yourself and enjoy life more.
1. Intend rather than react
‘Do you have the patience to wait until the mud settles and the water becomes clear?’ – Lao Tzu
Most of us live our lives blindly reacting to situations and people around us, this is something that has been ingrained within us from a young age.
It is usually a gut reaction and rarely is the most rational or appropriate way to respond.
Reacting to life happens so fast that we barely have the time to carefully weigh up the situation and decide what we should say or do with some perspective. This is why most people ‘say things that they don’t mean‘ during arguments or do things they regret as they are reacting out of habit rather than looking at something with intent.
Reacting with intent means that you are taking a step back and analysing the situation. You are allowing compassion and logic to come into play, and you are more likely to think of the bigger picture.
REACTING: Your child spills a drink on the floor. You automatically yell at the child for being so clumsy and staining the carpet, making him or her cry. You then feel awful for shouting and upsetting your child.
INTENDING: Your child spills a drink on the floor. You feel a flash of anger within you but you pause and take a breath. You make sure your child is out of the way of the spill and reason that it’s not the end of the world. You ask the child calmly to help you clean it up. You explain to the child how to avoid a situation like this happening in the future.
You can probably recall a situation like the first one where you reacted and felt awful afterwards. In the second scenario you are training your brain to pause and fully assess the situation, this is a much better way to go about your interactions.
At first you may still resort to reacting, with enough practice at intent you will have so much more control and will be able to intend communication, clarity and happiness with all of your interactions.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
‘The only person you should try to be better than is who you were yesterday’ – Unknown
We live in a fairly social world nowadays and everyone is online comparing their life to another’s ‘highlights’ on social media.
It can be easy to look at others who have what you want and feel jealous, hopeless or even resentful. But this is not the way forward, it only makes you feel bad, reduces your self esteem and decreases your enjoyment of life.
If I see someone who has a blog that is doing well I could either ruin my mood and my day by feeling jealous and awful, or I could use it as inspiration to make my blog the best one yet.
I know which option feels better to me.
There is more than enough in the world for everyone and it is in appreciating and being happy for others and what they have that will bring it to you also.
The universe is presenting you with things every day so that you will chose whether you want them or not. Decide that instead of putting yourself down and comparing yourself to others, be happy for the person who has what you want because they have given you more clarity about what you want yourself.
One way to stop comparisons is to try to be present and realise when you are making these comparisons, and decide to be happy for the person instead or feeling bad.
Focus on what you already have and set your sights for what you want while giving love to everyone else who has what you want. If you are being presented with something you want, it means you are on the same frequency as it, so give love and joy as if it is yours!
You are completely unique and on a different journey than every other human on this planet, so don’t waste your time feeling bad and comparing yourself, give love and make the world better by doing so.
‘You just have to trust your own madness’ – Clive barker
We often lose trust in ourselves when we repeatedly make decisions that don’t go as planned.
The truth is we have all the answers to every question inside of us, and looking outside of us for the answers will just bring us the wrong answers or else a difficult and tumultuous path.
We all have an innate, inner guidance available at any time that will bring us our path of least resistance, which is the path that is the most enjoyable, fun and filled with ease.
The thing is we have so much external distractions and an abundance of thoughts that we find it hard to hear that quiet nudge from within. So our minds are split with important decisions and we most likely make the wrong decision and lose trust in ourselves even more.
A great way to listen to this inner guidance is to quieten the mind, i.e. meditate, this allows you to slow down the thoughts you have and clear your mind for the brilliant ‘aha’ moment to come to you. It could be an intuitive nudge to call a friend you haven’t seen in a while who offers you a job, or a sign on a billboard that speaks to you in a way you needed to hear.
The universe is working in so many different ways to help you, you just have to trust yourself enough to listen to it and take action when you get the nudge.
4. Take responsibility for your life
‘The moment you take responsibility for everything in your life, is the moment you can change anything in your life’ – Hal Elrod
Taking responsibility for your life is a fundamental principle you need to adopt if you wish to take control of your life.
Rather than getting caught in endless cycles of blame and giving excuses for the way your life is not how you want it, you can take control and realise that you are the only one who can give you the life that you want.
Taking 100% responsibility for the choices, actions and outcomes that you have achieved is so empowering and now allows you to implement a new positive and empowering focus, devoid of the ‘ego’ train of thought that you were once on.
Doing this allows you to feel joy and happiness no matter what. Having no outer ways to blame or criticise things, you can remove yourself from the idea that happiness is outside of you. Other people’s behaviour will no longer need to go a certain way for you to feel happiness, you know that your happiness is up to you and you can cultivate it from within.
Your mind may continue to run old tapes of blame and unsatisfying outcomes on repeat, but now you have the insight and control to cut them off and say ‘no excuses’. In doing this you open yourself up to a life where you are in the drivers seat, and you are much much more likely to achieve your goals and dreams.
5. Don’t sweat the small stuff
‘Ask yourself a question, will this matter a year from now?’ – Richard Carlson
It can be so easy to get swept up in the little things in life and magnify them to these huge big issues, when really most things in life are little.
In realising this and learning not to let your mind run away from you, you can view things from a steady and positive perspective.
I remember when I was a child always being terrified of being late for school, I would sit on the bus imagining ridiculous over exaggerated scenarios of what would happen if I was late. It felt like if I was late, the world was going to end.
When I did get to school, nobody really cared. Maybe my name got put down as being late, but the world moved on, and I had just wasted a number of mornings of my life feeling extremely anxious when I didn’t need to.
The thing is, when we get something into our head and let our thoughts run away with us, our brains are experts in making it seem way way bigger than they are. It only comes from a bit of hindsight that you realise that things definitely aren’t as big as you make them out to be.
The quote above is an amazing question to ask yourself when you feel like you are letting the little things ruin your joy and happiness. Even if you ask ‘will this matter an hour from now?’ a lot of the times the answer is no, this will give you the perspective to take a breath and calm down, and with practice you will be amazing at this.
The small moments of your day add up to the big parts of your life, so why not spend them feeling good rather than wasting them feeling bad for things that wont matter in an hour.
6. Appreciate those around you
‘Truly appreciate those around you, and you’ll soon find many others around you’ – Ralph Marston
Everywhere you go you are interacting with other people, whether it is the cashiers at your local store, coworkers or your close friends and family.
We often forget how much all of those people do for us daily and forget to really appreciate them, until it comes a point where we don’t have them in our lives anymore.
Spend some time each day, whether inwardly or outwardly to be thankful for all of the people who are around you and help you daily. Whether it is the bag boy who packs your groceries or the stranger who holds the door open for you, or your partner who makes you a cup of tea in bed.
Take time to really appreciate all of the lovely things people do that make your life better each day. You may find when you start finding things to be grateful for, you cannot stop, and this level of gratitude is a sure fire way to attract so many more lovely experiences into your day.
Don’t leave it until it’s too late to tell someone that you are grateful to have them around. Many people may not even realise that you are grateful for them, and in finding out may really brighten their day!
I know how good I feel when I know my friends and family appreciate me, it’s infectious and makes me want to appreciate more people around me, you never know you may completely alter someone’s day for the better.
7. See the light in people
‘See the light in others and treat them as if that’s all you see’ – Wayne Dyer
This one may be difficult if we find ourselves feeling righteously angry at a situation that has really annoyed us.
That then snowballs and ruins our whole day as we are letting someone else have power over how we feel.
The thing is, we have to live on this planet with a large number of other people, and whether you like it or not, each person has their own right to make decisions and do what they feel is right. We are all a result of our circumstances and experiences and no one person has the same wiring or programming that another person does.
Everyone has some form of light within them, whether you can see it or not, and spending your days trying to morally show people what they are doing wrong, is only going to impact you negatively.
One person may make a decision that you don’t think is right, the only thing you have power over is how you see things so rather than getting annoyed and ruining your own vibration, you can simply accept that that person has made a decision to say or do something based on where they are at in their journey at this moment.
Their clarity may not be the same as yours, but that’s OK, in realising you only have to be responsible for yourself, you free yourself and allow more amazing things to come into your life by keeping your vibration high no matter what the external circumstances of others.
Mother Theresa once said that if there was an anti-war rally she would not attend, but if there was a pro peace rally, count her in. She had the right idea of seeing the light in everyone and turning away from that which she did not believe in. She knew that focusing on anti war would just bring more negativity and energy to war itself, and rather than focusing on what she doesn’t want and giving power to it, focusing on what she does want, is the better way to ensure it prevails.
Try to see the good in everyone, if a customer is rude to you, see the good in them, if a car cuts you off on the way to the shops, see the good in them, if a family member snaps at you, see the good in them. You have no idea why that person is reacting in that way, there could be many valid reasons.
All you have to do is remind yourself that they have some light in there somewhere even thought you may not be seeing it right now, and go about your day happily.
We know with the Law of Attraction that what you focus on expands and comes back to you, and in focusing on the light within others, you are opening yourself to the most amazing transformation in your life and the people who interact with you.
8. Throw out your negative vocabulary
‘Words transform. Speak only with a good purpose. Say only things that serve you and others. Choose your words wisely.’ – Robert G. Allen
As mentioned above, we know that every word you speak is creating the feelings you have, and therefore the experiences that you attract into your life.
Words that elicit a strong emotional response are usually those that are highly negative or highly positive, for example if you describe something is ‘disgusting’ you are likely to have a strong emotional reaction of disgust.
Feeling of disgust will then catapult back into your life with more things to be disgusted about.
By default we are naturally inclined to say words like ‘disgusting, terrible, awful, horrible’, but why not throw these out and instead use words like ‘amazing, incredible, fantastic and fabulous’ these words are likely to have great positive feelings attached which will then bring more wonderful moments into your daily life.
Focus on the feelings you want more of and use the words that will translate this i.e. positive vocabulary, you may be surprised at the joy you can cultivate in a short space of time.
9. Be present in your day
‘The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, worry about the future, or anticipate troubles, but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly’ – Buddha
We have all no doubt heard lots about mindfulness and the importance of being present in your day, but why is this so important?
Well as you may know, the only moment that is real is the present moment. It is the only time where you can affect your future, the past is gone and the future will only be created from your thoughts right now.
So it makes sense in saying that by letting your thoughts carry you away with them and obsessing over the past or worrying about made up scenarios in the future, that you are essentially not living your life which is in the present moment.
Remembering to be present in the moment can be difficult to do at first, as we are almost on autopilot getting lost in our thoughts, whether it be walking to work, waiting for the bus or eating food.
Instead of being in a trance we could be taking the time to really appreciate the beauty of the moment we are in, we cannot get it back so may as well appreciate it.
One way I remind myself to stay in the moment it to ask myself questions, I ask ‘what can I see right now that I love?’ or ‘what can I hear/smell/taste/touch?’ and my brain will get to work looking for the answers to my questions. I often find that I experience lots of beautiful little moments in my day that I would have missed had I been obsessing over past memories that cannot be changed.
Being mindful is incredible for your mental health as it teaches you that you are not your thoughts, you can train your brain to catch you before your thoughts get going like a runaway train, and therefore allow you to have reduced stress, higher self esteem and more control and presence in your life.
Making tiny changes to the way you think or react, and altering some of the thoughts and words that you say can create a big impact in the long term to the quality and enjoyment of your life.
Why not try some of these out instead of your already broken new years resolution?
If you enjoyed this article please as always let me know and share share share if you think it will benefit anyone else.
Here’s to making this year the best one yet 🙂